Henny Penny, Straight No Chaser

Oh Baby, this is the motherload of favourite moments! Mother Cluckin' Henny Penny!

So, for you morons out there who don't know the awesomeness that is Henny Penny, let me drop some learnin' on your ass. Dorothy's school gets to put on a school play to get children interested in reading. Her class picks Henny Penny, then they all die of the plague. Ok, not really. But they do get sick and all have to drop out. However the shown must go on, and so Rose, Blanche and Sophia all pitch in to make the play a success.

Do I need to tell you the story of Henny Penny? Well, I'm not going to. Look it up you lazy jerks. I know you have the internet!

Rose gets the titular role of Henny Penny, a clueless twit who gets hit in the head by an acorn and thinks the sky is falling. Blanche is Goosey Loosey, because she's a ho. Dorothy is naturally Turkey Lurkey, and she steals the show with her awesomeness. Sophia plays the Narrator. They are all A++ in my book! The song is awesome, the costumes are great, I love how each girl moves like each specific barnyard fowl (though Rose does it the best).

Brace yourselves, here it comes:

 Also, once you've watched it through a few times, go to 4:06. Dorothy's "Help!" is the very bestest.

Also also, Foxxy Loxxy is played by George Hearn, Broadway's original Demon Barber himself, Sweeney Todd. How perfect is it that they end up getting cooked in the end?

The Two Merry Widows

From Season 1, Episode 18 "The Operation"

I always thought Dorothy was being a giant bitch at the end of this episode (see bottom panel). It's not Rose or Blanche's fault she couldn't participate in the show, making them have to change their act and cut Dorothy out.

Also, how cute are they in their sexy little tux suits? Too cute!

What'll I Do?

I enjoy all the singing the girls do. Really, they might not be the most stunning vocalists, and we often only get to hear bit parts of the songs, but there is something great about their musical performances that I just can't put my finger on. It might be that they remind me of family, my family. My mother and my aunts, and every family get together over the last 30 years. One will start humming, another will butt in with a few words from the chorus, and before any one knows exactly how it's started they've been singing mouldy-oldies for an hour.

This performance is hands down my favourite. Dorothy has accompanied Blanche to the Rusty Anchor, tired of being single and alone, and is promptly dumped by Blanche in favour of getting as much attention possible (from as many men as possible). Dorothy sits down next to the piano and eventually begins to sing, gaining all the attention that Blanche was aiming to get.

Dorothy may not be the first songstress you would think of having sing Irving Berlin's "What'll I Do", and so many others have covered it who would seem more apt to do so, but as far as I am concerned Dorothy's version is the best. It both makes me cry and laugh, and her emotion shines through with every word. You can't help but love her, and her showmanship right there at the end always makes me smile. And as Blanche said "Dorothy, when you sing you light up the room. You do. You positively glow, you're beautiful."

Rest in Peace, Pussycat. You touched my heart.

Gonna Stuff a Chicken...

Ok, this barely qualifies as a song, but I love it so I'm posting this baby!

PS-This excellent song can be sung for every occasion. Just change a few words and BAM! Awesome song! For example: I work at a vet clinic, so I substitute " Gonna stuff a chicken" with "Gonna hold a kitten". Seriously, it's an excellent thing to do. Try it yourself at home! Just make sure you hit the "Mississippi" part perfectly.

I Wanna Be Loved By You

Oh my sweet Jesus, this kills me every time!

Blanche, jealous over the attention Dorothy and her singing are receiving at The Rusty Anchor, tries her hand at her own sexy little ditty. Disaster ensues...as does hilarity!

Best part: A tie between her shoe flying off, her falling off the piano and her losing control of the spinning mic.

The Dancing Trio...Um, Duo!

Whoever made this is my God!

"Go Dorothy, go!"

"Gosh, I didn't realize how long Dorothy's solo is!"

From Season 1, Episode 18, "The Operation"

That Classic Theme Song

Without exaggerating, I think every single person in the world knows every single word to The Golden Girls theme song.

So, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit. But really, even people who aren't fans of the show ( aka: stupid jerks), can usually belt out the first few lines of the song with very little prompting. It's probably one of the best known theme songs out there (my opinion), tying in awesomeness with only a few others, like The Littlest Hobo, Thundercats and the Raccoons! ( also my opinion).

Cynthia Fee sang the theme song for the series, and apparently did nothing else (at least in the show business industry) that I can find. I guess if you are only going to have one huge success in your music career this was a pretty good way to go.

But did you know that it was originally written and recorded in 1978 by Singer/Songwriter Andrew Gold, whose version was a minor hit on the Billboard Pop Chart. He also did nothing else that I've ever heard of, but it seems he was somewhat popular in the 70's and has a bit of a fan base.

Also, because I know your dying to have this typed out for you, the lyrics:

Thank You For Being a Friend

Thank you for being a friend

Travelled down the road and back again

Your heart is true,

you're a pal and a confidant

And if you threw a party

Invited everyone you knew

You would see

the biggest gift would be from me,

and the card attached would say:

Thank you for being a friend

Miami, Miami, You've got Style!

From Season 2, Episode 6, "Big Daddy's Little Lady".

I'm totalling ignoring the rest of this episode, all I want to focus on is this kick-ass song! Written by Rose and Dorothy, winning second place in the contest, this song tells us how nice Miami living is...for a senior.

Miami Jingle

I have to say what I feel...

Miami has so much appeal...

A great place to get a seafood meal...

Miami!

Miami, Miami, you've got style.

Blue skies, sunshine, white sand by the mile.

When you live in this town,

each day is sublime.

The coldest of winters,

are warm and divine.

Miami, Miami, you've got style.

Blue skies, sunshine, white sand by the mile.

There's golf clubs and nightclubs,

all within reach.

Dance the samba till morning,

then lay on the beach.

Each view is a postcard,

each day a great time.

The cream of the crop,

it's the top of the line.

Miami, Miami, you've got style.

Blue skies, sunshine, white sand by the mile.

Miami, you've got style!

I do have to say, I also really enjoyed the "Miami is nice, now I'll say it thrice" and "Miami is cuter than, an inter-uterine..." versions as well.