Gunilla Olfstatter, St. Olaf's Angel of Death

An excellent St. Olaf story, as told by Rose in the episode "Not Another Monday". Sophia has been asked by her friend Martha to be there with her when she commits suicide. After much debate Sophia decides to be with her, so she won't have to be alone when she dies. The Girls are trying to convince her it's the wrong thing to do, and that she should seek help for Martha instead of letting her die. Rose busts out this pearl of wisdom, not only for Sophia's benefit, but for all of ours.

Rose: Sophia, I can't believe you're doing this! This reminds me of the story of Gunilla Olfstatter, St. Olaf's very own Angel of Death.

Dorothy: Tell it, Rose, tell it.

Rose: Really? All the way through?

Dorothy: All the way through, but please try to make the end come as close to the beginning as possible!

Rose: Well, Gunilla Olfstatter was a nurse at Cedars of St. Olaf Hospital. One night she was taking care of Sven Bjornsen, and he asked her if she would get him some more mouth moisteners and then kill him. Gunilla brought the mouth moisteners right away, but the killing thing, it seemed to go against everything she'd been taught!

Dorothy: You're doing beautifully, Rose.

Rose: He begged and he begged and by her coffee break she couldn't stand it anymore, so she pulled the plug and he died. Well, she was wracked with guilt that night. Not only had she parked her car in a doctor's spot, but she was never sure whether Sven's pleading was the pain talking or the medication talking or the guy in the next bed talking. You see, the guy in the next bed was Ingmar Von Bergman, St. Olaf's meanest ventriloquist.

Dorothy: Rose, we are going somewhere with this, aren't we? I mean, if not, I'm gonna cut out your tongue.

Rose: Yes! Sven came back to haunt Gunilla. Since then, every Tuesday night at ten - nine Central -

[Dorothy slams her fork down in frustration]

Rose: ...she hears noises. Some say it's the wind, but some say it's Sven's voice whispering back from the other side, saying: "Turn around, quick! His lips are moving!"

Dorothy: [to Sophia] You see that, Ma? You kill someone, you end up being a Rose story.