Gunilla Olfstatter, St. Olaf's Angel of Death

An excellent St. Olaf story, as told by Rose in the episode "Not Another Monday". Sophia has been asked by her friend Martha to be there with her when she commits suicide. After much debate Sophia decides to be with her, so she won't have to be alone when she dies. The Girls are trying to convince her it's the wrong thing to do, and that she should seek help for Martha instead of letting her die. Rose busts out this pearl of wisdom, not only for Sophia's benefit, but for all of ours.

Rose: Sophia, I can't believe you're doing this! This reminds me of the story of Gunilla Olfstatter, St. Olaf's very own Angel of Death.

Dorothy: Tell it, Rose, tell it.

Rose: Really? All the way through?

Dorothy: All the way through, but please try to make the end come as close to the beginning as possible!

Rose: Well, Gunilla Olfstatter was a nurse at Cedars of St. Olaf Hospital. One night she was taking care of Sven Bjornsen, and he asked her if she would get him some more mouth moisteners and then kill him. Gunilla brought the mouth moisteners right away, but the killing thing, it seemed to go against everything she'd been taught!

Dorothy: You're doing beautifully, Rose.

Rose: He begged and he begged and by her coffee break she couldn't stand it anymore, so she pulled the plug and he died. Well, she was wracked with guilt that night. Not only had she parked her car in a doctor's spot, but she was never sure whether Sven's pleading was the pain talking or the medication talking or the guy in the next bed talking. You see, the guy in the next bed was Ingmar Von Bergman, St. Olaf's meanest ventriloquist.

Dorothy: Rose, we are going somewhere with this, aren't we? I mean, if not, I'm gonna cut out your tongue.

Rose: Yes! Sven came back to haunt Gunilla. Since then, every Tuesday night at ten - nine Central -

[Dorothy slams her fork down in frustration]

Rose: ...she hears noises. Some say it's the wind, but some say it's Sven's voice whispering back from the other side, saying: "Turn around, quick! His lips are moving!"

Dorothy: [to Sophia] You see that, Ma? You kill someone, you end up being a Rose story.

The Super Goldens?

These are some truly horrific looking heroes. I don't know who the artist is, but he/she seems to have an obsession with the girls and their saggy boobs, and the only one who really looks like herself is Dorothy. Sometimes GG fan art is just plain baffling!

Blanche as Catwoman, Rose as Superman (or SuperRose), Dorothy as Wonder Woman, and Sophia as Robin.

Golden Quote of the Day

Rose: Blanche, you saw that dolphin, all tangled up in that tuna boat's net. Thousands of them die that way each year. We have to do something.

 

Blanche: You're absolutely right. From this moment on, no more tuna fish.

 

Rose: Blanche, you hate tuna fish.

 

Blanche: Alright, then no more tuna fisher... men.

What the HELL is she wearing now?

 "Oh please. It's bad enough hearing all those snickers as you walk down the aisle, but me in white? Even I couldn't keep a straight face."

Blanche, who was probably the most stylish of the Girls at the time, has quite the collection of ridiculous garments. This gorgeous little number was Blanche's wedding dress, way back when she married George. The episode in which she wears this shows Blanche struggling to lose weight to fit into the dress, just like she has every year on their anniversary.

Now, this isn't even close to the worst thing she's ever worn, and truly there was no way Blanche could have pulled off the ol' white wedding dress. But, this looks like something a 50 year old drag queen with a nightly show in Vegas would wear. Not to mention that Blanche was married when she was young...what young girl would throw this on? Even if it was decades ago? The hat alone is stupid, it looks like a dyed tissue box on fire, and why does the dress need a cape? Getting married and fighting evil, all in one day? Oh Blanche...

Golden Quotes of the Day

Delivery Man: Flowers for Blanche Deverucks.

 

Dorothy: [taking the flowers] That's Devereaux. It's only pronounced "Deverucks" in limericks.

How they got their gold?

I knew it was piracy all along.

Golden Quote of the Day

Dorothy: You know, I never had a sponge cake that was quite so......moist.

 

Jerry: Extremely moist.

 

Rose: The moistest.

 

Sophia: I found the tea rather moist as well. 

 

[Dorothy gives her a look]

 

Sophia: I can't be uncomfortable too?

Golden Quote of the Day

Dorothy: You'll have to excuse my mother. She survived a slight stroke which left her, if I can be frank, a complete burden.

What the HELL is she wearing now?

Sweet Jesus, what is this monstrosity?

Though all of the girls at one time or another waltz around in some truly horrendous clothing, our dear Dorothy will be the first to star in our newest blog segment "What the Hell is she wearing now?". Of all the girls, and all the tacky attire, Dorothy somehow always seems to get the worst. This hot little number pictured above may be one of the worst to date.

Firstly, yuck! Secondly, like most of Dorothy's clothes this is a floor length...dress? Suit? I'm not even sure. It appears to be silk (or silk like), is a mix between peppermint green and sea foam, with some blotchy patches that are not just tricks of the light. The best part of this classy get-up? That sexy little bow tie. Nothing makes a man hot like grabbing granny by her bow tie, throwing her down on the hospital bed, and going in for some pelvis shattering love making.

5 Little Facts

• In Episode 8 of Season 1 (The Break In), Rose says that her hometown is Little Falls. In all the episodes after that, she says that her hometown is St. Olaf. 
• Betty played Rose Nylund on four different shows: Empty Nest, Nurses, The Golden Girls and The Golden Palace. 
• Betty White was the oldest of the four main actresses. Ironically, with the death of Rue McClanahan, she became the last surviving member of the cast.  
• Throughout the series, there are many jokes made by the girls at Rose regarding her natural hair colour. Betty is in fact a natural brunette and dyes her hair Blonde. 
• Betty admits to having plastic surgery before The Golden Girls, even though the program was about growing old and not having a problem with it.

Golden Quote of the Day

Blanche: [after telling a story about a man she once dated who had large, floppy ears] By the way, did you girls know that the size of a man's ears is directly proportional to the size of his other... bodily organs?

 

Rose: [puzzled] What do you mean?

 

Dorothy: He had a big floppy pancreas, Rose.

Betty White and Vaginas

Golden Quote of the Day

Dorothy: Ma, we need to talk. I waited up for you until two in the morning, and you still weren't home.

Sophia: Oh, yeah, Gertie and I and some of the girls went to Wolfie's to pick up guys.

 Dorothy: I called Wolfie's at 11, you weren't there.

Sophia: Guess who got lucky?

Dorothy: Oh God!